PTB SUniversity 2012
by eDWards.headboard
Summary: These stories are one shots written in an attempt to improve my writing skills and stretch my creative thinking. I am planning on canon pairings. AU.
1. Chapter 1

* This story was written for the PTB S-University, Summer 2012.

* This chapter was pre-read and pre-improved by my faithful friend, Dunna. Thank you for all your help.

* Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. I just really love them.

* * *

Communal Living

EPOV

When living with others there's a need to learn how to balance privacy and community. You have to be available to each other as friends and talk through misunderstandings when they arise. Contrarily, you have to know when to back away and give each other space.

I'm sure humans struggle with those issues in living situations too, but as vampires we have additional privacy issues. All of our senses are heightened, but our excellent hearing causes the most problems.

For example, Rosalie has to get a good twenty miles from the house before she complains about my moodiness or I can hear every word she says. Not that she ever makes it that far before she spews her pernicious word vomit about how irritating I am to Emmett. I appreciate her effort though.

Not that it matters, because I can hear her internal dialogue intensifying all day before she escapes into the woods to let off some steam.

Alice and I unintentionally invade our family's privacy much more often than we would like. We do not want to pry. I would turn off my mind reading if I could. There are certain things you simply do not want to know about your parents, siblings or roommates.

A perfect example of this was tonight. I was playing piano to kill some time until Alice returned from hunting with Jasper. We were supposed to watch some French film that's just been released.

I knew Esme and Carlisle were upstairs together. I heard them kissing and cooing to each other so I began playing more difficult, louder pieces to drown out any noises from upstairs and to keep my mind occupied. I probably should have just left the house at that point, but a suddenly silent piano would've been a dead giveaway that I'd been eavesdropping on a private moment. So, I kept playing.

I was only a few lines into Prokofiev's Piano Sonata No. 7, when my brain locked into Esme's thoughts, and I was unable to break free. Her intense thoughts began because Carlisle's zipper was stuck. She was concentrating very hard on trying to unzip it without simply ripping the pants to shreds or breaking their very intense kiss.

Esme's thoughts were so explicit I could see the scene unfold. What she saw I saw as well. Any thought she had, was loud and clear in my head, as if I were thinking it myself.

_**His tongue is so commanding… I love it when he's forceful…**_

_**What is up with this zipper?**_

Her hand was jiggling the zipper of his pants up and down. His hands were resting quite low on her back…

_**Gently Esme, no need to ruin a perfectly nice pair of trousers… **_

With what I would assume took enormous self-restraint, Esme broke their kiss and focused her attention on the resilient zipper. Seconds later it finally slid down, revealing black cotton boxer briefs. Peaking from under the waistband was a golden line of hair centered on the pale, hard skin of his sculpted torso.

_**Hmm...I need him. I want him now!**_

Her tiny index finger weaved through the golden, coarse hair causing the abdominal muscles to ripple. She grabbed the black waistband and quickly yanked down, revealing an ivory cock bobbing free.

Esme's thoughts grow louder at the sight of his manhood…

_**Fuck! He's beautiful!**_

"**Carlisle, I want you. Please,"** her voice was but a whisper.

Carlisle sauntered over like a predator stalking his prey, ridden of clothes. Esme bumped against the bed as she fell on it. He straddled her, and his lips attacked her neck. If she still had one, I'm sure her pulse would've quickened, her heart would've been pumping and racing, her blood would've been boiling. Then he entered her in one swift movement.

_**Fill me… mmm, that's amazing…**_

Carlisle's eyes were more feral and intense than I've ever seen them, completely black. His mouth hung open and though it's impossible, he seemed out of breath, his sharp teeth coated with venom… he looked dangerous, animalistic.

Esme's thoughts were intense and unfocused.

_**More! I just need…. my clit, just flick it… rub it… lick it…**_

Carlisle had his right hand under her lower back, creating an arch for deeper contact.

_**Oh God, that's good! Just a little harder, right there, just like that…hmm...**_

He pounded into her forcefully, and sucked on her neck as if he was changing her all over again.

_**That feels amazing… he's so big… I wish... my clit, just…please…**_

Esme's eyes focused on Carlisle's, her hand gripped his hair so hard that if he were human it would've ripped off. A seductive smile crossed his face, and he leaned down to kiss her. She gripped his shoulder desperately.

_**More!...Oh, my clit needs… God, please a little more… **_

At that point, I jumped up from the piano bench in frustration. Refusing to hear or see more than I already had. I bolted out the backdoor to keep myself from screaming out at the top of my lungs, "Just fondle her clit, Carlisle, that's all it will take!"

I'm not sure why she doesn't say it out loud herself instead of begging silently inside her head. _He's_ not the mind reader.

Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it will be when I bump into her in the living room after a scene like tonight? She is my mother, for all intents and purposes. No one should know stuff like that about their mom, it is just disturbing!

I took off running at full speed, seeking refuge in the wilderness. Where the only thoughts I heard were my own. It didn't take me long to arrive in my sacred meadow. I released a heavy breath, dropped down into the dewy grass and soaked in the calmness. I've been here countless times, but the calming effect is always immediate.

The peace lasted for exactly forty-five seconds before an incredible crashing roar came from deep within the forest. It sounded like an avalanche crushing twenty trees simultaneously. I sat up quickly, willing my senses to hone in on the source.

Surprised, I tuned in quickly to Emmett's loud mental voice.

_**Tough Girl isn't playing around tonight, knocked me right out of that eighty-foot tree.**_

Rosalie had him pinned to the forest floor with his arms above his head. Her full breasts were shoved tantalizing in his face. Her pert nipples were clearly outlined against the tight cotton of her blouse.

"Why do you try and escape? Hmm…you know I'll always track you down and have my way with you."

_**Fuck me, she knows I can't resist her. I don't know why she makes me try.**_

Emmett lifted his head and kissed her tenderly first on one mound and then the other. He allowed his mouth to open slightly, which resulted in the tiniest bit of tongue to skin contact. She shivered.

Rosalie exhaled audibly and arched her back, sending her hair in a blond cascade down her back. A look of pure satisfaction was plastered on her smug face.

_**Oh, Beautiful One, I've got you now…**_

His tenderness caused her to lose her aggressive focus. Emmett took advantage of her weakened grip by pumping his hips, catapulting her about twelve feet in the air. Emmett quickly scrambled to his knees in an attempt to crawl away, but Rosalie came down hard in the center of his broad back.

"Not so fast, Monkey Man."

_**Monkey Man? **_

She gripped his shoulder and with characteristic vampire strength flipped him over, straddling him. She looked down at him, enjoying his surprised look. With him at her mercy, her intentions were as clear as her spoken words…

"Time to ride…" she clutched onto his ribs for leverage.

"Babe, you know I'll give you the ride of your life."

He lifted his hips again grinding up into her flesh, which was wet from the friction.

Rosalie laughed and then challenged, "Promises, promises."

I scurried to my feet as quickly as possibly once again fleeing from the 'Disturbia' that is my family's sex-crazed minds. I raced through the trees without a clear destination. How far away would be far enough?

The babbling of running water was music to my ears as I neared the river. I dove off a cliff into the deep pool below, and drifted down to smooth rocks at the bottom.

The current rushed past me, massaging my body as it went. I wondered what it would be like to have a lover, someone to love in the moonlight. I probably should have entertained Tanya when she offered herself physically. It didn't seem like enough.

I know it's old fashioned of me, but I just want it to mean something. I want to want it like my family does- seemingly every second of every day. It's animalistic, selfish, and selfless at the same time. Even though I can't stand to be around it, "beautiful" is the only word to describe it.

I lay there enjoying the silence and wrestling with the loneliness for a couple of hours. I had just begun thinking about the inevitable return home, when the water above me rippled from a disturbance. A fishing hook descended toward me. I wondered who could possibly be fishing at this hour.

Then, Alice's familiar internal voice found me. Unfortunately for me, she was deep in one of her and Jasper's role-playing games.

_**There's Captain Jasper's hook. I hope he will admire me up close and personal tonight. I could put his full lips to some use.**_

Suddenly, her form came into view above me. She was dressed in a pink string bikini top with a mermaid fin on the bottom. Alice must have sewn it herself because it was clearly not from a costume shop. It was made of shimmering swimsuit material that fit her like a second skin, showing off her feminine curves.

Alice grabbed the hook and looped it around the center pink string of her top. Jasper began to reel her in, and once she broke the surface of the river, she spoke.

"Captain Jasper, please take me back with you. I am here to serve your needs." Jasper was dressed in an authentic looking sea captain costume, nearly as elaborate as the mermaid one.

"A man of the sea has many needs, my fair maiden. I'm afraid I must let you go once again, it's the only decent thing to do."

_**Decent? He knows I want to get fucked fourteen ways 'til sunrise. **_

"Dearest Captain, I know of a man's desires. Unfortunately, my fin is a prison cell. Can I tempt you with my other talents?"

Jasper brought a finger to his full lips as if pondering her offer.

"Come closer and tell me of these talents."

_**Yes!**_

Alice wiggled through the water to her captain. When she got close enough, she grabbed the waist of his pants, floated over to him and outlined the profound bulge through the front of the costume with her tongue.

_**Oh, look how ready he is. **_

She slid from the tip to the base several times. Jasper hissed as she punctured the fabric with her left canine. I realized that I needed to depart before things got any more intimate.

I thought about going up to Alaska for a visit. It's the beginning of the semester, I can afford the time off. Yes, I could go see what "talents" Tanya possesses. Then perhaps, if things work out…

_**Shit.**_

_** Edward…What are you planning? **_

_**You can't leave Forks. Something important is about to happen…**_

Obviously, not even Jasper's sexual prowess can deter Alice's visions.

I trust Alice, I do. But whatever it is, it will still be here when I return. I decided to go to Alaska. I wanted to leave tonight. Alice continued to argue with me in her head.

_**Why do you always have to push, Edward? For once, can't you just think positive and trust me?**_

_Um, not really, no._

I don't see what the big deal is. Nothing changes in Forks. Ever. A week in Alaska won't make a bit of difference.

_**Fine, just ruin it then.**_

Alice cautiously revealed a vision she's kept hidden in her mind behind an ugly duckling fantasy she conjured up. That was good thinking on her part because she knows I would never willingly pry into that area of her psyche.

A children's book illustration of a brown duck swirled into a vision of two deep chocolate brown eyes, intriguing me. Maybe Alaska could wait a while.

* * *

* Thank you for reading.

* All feedback is appreciated. I particularly struggled with the mechanics of how to write mind reading.


	2. Chapter 2

* This is unbeta'd. The many mistakes are soley mine.

* The inspiration positions can be found at the cosmopolitan site and then: sex-love/positions/bootyful-view-sex-position

or: sex-love/positions/x-marks-the-spot-sex-position

* Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. I just really love them. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

Ficology Assignment-"X Marks the Bootyful View"

**EPOV**

Jasper and I stumbled into the house after our early morning hunt like the brothers we pretended to be. He was teasing me about the mountain lion that almost got away as we walked into the living room.

"He was clawing at that rock, scratching it all to hell and you were just standing there holding him in place. He looked like a cartoon character running in place." Jasper found the situation much funnier than I remembered it.

"Well, he was feisty and I was trying to avoid falling into that ravine with him."

Jasper stopped short when we walked into the room.

Alice was lying on her back on the thick Parisian Rug with her black cowboy boots propped up on arm of the leather wing back chair, legs crossed at the ankles. She appeared to be absentmindedly reading some French fashion magazine.

Her thoughts were focused on an image of herself in her mirror wearing only a red corset. I quickly tuned that out and moved my focus to my brother.

His thoughts were strong and practically impossible to tune out. Jasper stared down at Alice admiring her feminine shape posed pin up style in the middle of the living room. His eyes continued their assessment of her body but stopped where her crossed ankles were forming an "x" just above the center seam of her jean shorts. "_X marks the spot,"_ Jasper thought.

Alice flipped her magazine down flat against torso and smirked knowingly at Jasper. She blew him a quiet little kiss and lifted her magazine back up into reading position.

"X marks the spot?" my brain took a few seconds to figure out what that what was supposed to mean. I cringed at the realization. Then I decided to give them some privacy and me some sanity.

Jasper leaned against the wall and I bolted up the stairs trying to escape, but his vivid mental pictures were faster.

**JPOV**

_Alice was lying on her tummy on our bed dressed only in a red silk corset with a matching thong, black cowboy hat and the black boots I bought her last Valentine's Day. _

"_Hi, there Cowboy," she greeted me with a theatrical country twang. She obviously wanted to play. A wave of sexual desire rolled off her and hit me like a ton of bricks. My body responded._

"_Howdy, Miss, please don't move a muscle," I drawled back. I quickly removed my trousers before I sauntered over and settled myself in the center of the bed between her boots. The landscape of her body was truly exquisite. Her silky white calves contrasted beautifully with the top of the black boots. I placed my hands on the backs of her knees and began moving them in slow caressing circles. _

"_Mmmm…." She mumbled into the comforter._

_My hands began a slow ascent northward celebrating every beautiful centimeter of her defined, flawless thighs. Without even realizing what I was doing, I pressed slightly firmer on the insides, coaxing them apart. _

"_Oh, Baby, you are so beautiful," I groaned as she opened up to me._

_The small strip of red fabric teased me from between her creamy white cheeks; like a ribbon through fresh snow. I licked my lips and swallowed hard. I needed a little taste of her. I leaned forward and pressed my lips first to the left and then the right cheek. _

_Alice gasped as I gently nibbled her caramel flavored skin with my teeth. Then I flattened my tongue to experience the flavor of her skin flavor further. I nibbled and licked a small trail up to the horizontal strip that circled her tiny waist. Two quick snaps at the delicate fabric and a valley of wonder appeared before me._

_It was mesmerizing, as always. The various shades of rose drew my eyes inward. My right hand followed, relishing the velvet texture of her firm skin until I reached the glistening center._

"_Please," she whimpered._

"_My pleasure," I whispered hoarsely, gently massaging her left hip. Tenderly I traced the inner most circle with my other index finger twice before entering her. It was my turn to whimper at the amazement that is her body._

_Alice glanced back over her shoulder fighting to keep her butterscotch eyes open. I slid my finger slowly through her slick warmth several times before I added a second. She was cooing softly and arching into my movements. I was fully rigid and losing a battle in self-control. _

_My explorations alternated between slow worshipping strokes and quick, desperate ones until I knew she was ready for me. As soon as she was, I removed my slippery fingers. Hungrily, I brought them to my mouth and swirled my tongue around moaning as the flavor of her filled my mouth. _

_I had lost the self-control battle. I gripped her curvy hips firmly and pulled her back to me, keeping her legs straight back. I adjusted my angle slightly to line us up and I pressed forward. She was magnificently cozy, and I savored the feel of her._

_I felt Alice's tiny arms adjust position so she could grip my calves with her hands. She used that leverage to slide herself from tip to base repeatedly. My hands roamed over the flesh of her glorious ass as she moved against me. She was speeding up, and I knew she was close to coming. I reached behind me, arching my back to deepen our connection._

"_Ung, Ja-," she uttered before she lost herself in a quivering orgasm. I watched in wonder as she clawed my calves and writhed in delight. Her churning grasp on me loosened after the last wave of pleasure subsided and she lay before me panting._

"_That was quite a ride, Cowgirl," I teased._

_She turned her head to the side so I could see her face. This was the Alice Cullen only I get to see. My baby was blissed out, hair in disarray, speechless._

"_The next time you come, I want to see your face." I pulled myself back, moved onto my knees and flipped her over onto her back, situating her legs around my hips. She tossed the cowboy hat to the floor and her eyes fluttered open as she processed my request. _

"_You want to watch me?" she questioned, biting her plump, bottom lip. _

_I nodded, leaned forward and kissed her slowly. My tongue danced against hers, and she knotted my hair with her fingers, both of us trying to get closer. I was throbbing desperately, and her impatient grinding was torture. _

"_Alice, I need you," I hissed, sounding like a starved man. I sat up on my heels and looked down on the love of my life. She looked amazingly tiny under me with her hair splayed out against the downy comforter._

_She reached between us, tugging firmly and lifted her hips in invitation. I RSVP'd in one swift controlled thrust. I felt myself tighten immediately, but I fought against the impending release. She was going to come again. I wouldn't be satisfied until she did._

_I reached down and lowered the corset. It gave way, freeing her perky breasts. I grazed my hands across the peaks, teasing them into delectably rigid points. She arched her back, lifting her feet from the mattress momentarily. In that moment, her internal walls clenched tighter, nearly making me come. _

_I wanted that sweet sensation again, so I reached down and pulled her legs up from the mattress. I held onto her knees, and I began to move again using her legs for leverage._

_I looked down into her hungry eyes and sped up. I needed her to explode again. Her mouth opened in a silent plea and then she planted her boots firmly on my chest. _

_The heels bit into my skin slightly, but the sensation paled in comparison to the pleasure being squeezed out of me below. I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold off much longer. I knew she was close as well from the tiny mewls she was making and the way she was clawing at the comforter._

_I was caught off guard as she lifted her right boot and crossed it over her left effectively making an "X" with her sexy little legs. Then she clamped her knees shut, making everything below her waist exquisitely tight. _

"_Oh God, Alice," I moaned and forcefully thrust into her just as she shuddered around me again. Her eyes were clamped shut and a primal growl caught in her throat as she lifted her hips extending her ripples of pleasure. She was beautiful._

_The realization that I had been able to give her that kind of ecstasy pushed me over the edge. I tightened and released in my own overwhelming waves. Fireworks exploded before my eyes and I burst out giggling in response to my intense pleasure._

_When I opened my eyes she was happily smiling up at me. Then she pulled her legs down to the side, and I collapsed beside her on the bed exhausted._

_Alice looked over her right shoulder at me, kissed me sweetly on the lips. "Thank you for the ride."_

"_Anytime you'd like, Miss. We aim to please," I joked back._

"_I love you, Jasper."_

"_I love you too sweetheart," I answered with another kiss. _

_We lay there for several hours petting and talking before I got dressed._

"_Where are you going? I thought we could try another rodeo game before sunrise," Alice begged._

"_Sorry, Doll. I promised Edward I'd go hunting with him. Maybe we can squeeze one more in when I get back, before school."_

_She pouted slightly. "Okay, maybe a bucking bronco thing." She raised her eyebrows suggestively._

_I gave her a quick kiss on the nose before opening the door._

_I paused and said, "Whatever you want. Just keep the boots on!" _

**EPOV**

I couldn't shut the door quick enough or get some distracting music playing before I began to wonder if Bella owns any cowboy boots…

* * *

* Thank you for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

*** Assignment Two**

*** This is unbeta'd. All the mistakes belong to me.**

*** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. I just really love them. No copyright infringement intended. I DID use some of Stephenie Meyer's dialogue for my own purposes here. I'm honoring, not stealing.**

*** I used the timeline at Twilight Lexicon to determine what year and approximate location I needed to make this work. I took some liberties and errors may occur.**

*** Carnton Plantation is a real place in Franklin, Tennessee where one of the bloodiest battles of the Civil War occurred. There are still blood stains on the wood floors there. I enjoyed that piece of information so I included it in my story. I am not an expert, minor errors are unintentional.**

~ This is approximately two years after Rosalie's transformation. Carlisle moved the family onto Carnton Plantation where Esme is refurbishing the house, Carlisle is working as a doctor, Edward is interested in WSM Barn Dance which would eventually become the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville (this info didnt' quite make it into the story as I'd planned) and Rosalie is simply miserable with her own existence.

* * *

Carnton Plantation

Franklin, Tennessee 1935

EPOV

Esme was hunched over the wood floor in the parlor scrubbing at that same blood stain she'd been working on for days. "I don't know how much more I can take, Edward. It's beyond ridiculous that two and a half years later I still have to deal with it."

"I know, Esme. I'm sorry. You really just have to be blunt and stop coddling her." Esme was too polite. We both knew it.

"Me coddle her?" She looked at me wide-eyed. "Talk to Carlisle on that one. He never-"

"Shh-she's at the corner. Actually, they both are." Esme's brow furrowed. She huffed audibly and threw herself back into her cleaning. The thoughts in her head provided more scrubbing power than any solvent could.

_I wonder what she's griping about now? Her thirst? Her obscene wardrobe is somehow lacking the latest hat from Paris? Or how unfair it is that she only has one automobile to play with!_

I walked out to the back porch debating with myself about whether or not to talk to Carlisle about Esme's hidden thoughts. It was a moral decision I had to make every day lately. Esme was keeping her true feelings from Carlisle, but she couldn't keep them from me.

I didn't want to betray Esme and she hadn't willingly shared her thoughts with me either. It's the mind reader's curse-what to do with what I knew.

A slight coral line appeared on the horizon announcing the sun's decent. "Good evening, Son."

"Hello, Carlisle. Esme's still scrubbing that stain in the parlor."

"Oh yeah, I saw her when I came in. She sure is determined to get that out. I barely got a hello kiss." How can he just ignore those little clues?

"I kind of like the stains. They are like a private family joke."

Carlisle chuckled to himself. "I didn't think of it like that. I know it bothers Rosalie though. She doesn't like being reminded of what she is."

"I know, but I think it's about time she accepted it and stopped complaining."

"She's part of our family now, Edward. I am responsible for her." Carlisle looked off toward the gardens deep in thought.

"That makes us all responsible for her. You, me and Esme. We want to be a family, whatever it takes. But Rosalie should take some responsibility for her own happiness too. None of us can make her happy."

"That sounds like something Esme said to me a few months back."

"Well, maybe Esme was right. Maybe you should listen to her."

Carlisle squinted his eyes in my direction. I pretended not to notice. "What did she say to you?" he accused.

"Nothing. You know she has a strict moral code in how she treats people. But Carlisle, you aren't here all day long. You don't know what she puts up with. You don't know how she feels."

"And you do?"

I was across the line, and I knew it. "Well, it's not hard to guess."

"Edward, if you know-"

"I don't." I paused for emphasis and then casually added, "Listen, I'm going to go watch the sunset from the cemetery. Maybe we can go hunting later." I skipped down the porch steps and started across the plantation to the graveyard.

Carlisle was processing our conversation as I walked away. I didn't want to relive it.

_I can't just hang around this house all day with Esme and those stains taunting me. Edward got to go to college. It's not fair that women aren't allowed. Actually it is. Real women are home having babies, they don't need-_

That's about all I could handle of that injustice.

Esme POV

_I heard Carlisle come in and settle into the antique chair by the fireplace. I pretended I didn't know he was there, but we both knew it was a lie. I don't remember exactly when I started lying to my husband, but it was sometime after he brought our daughter home. Daughter…it sounds so innocent._

"Esme, come sit with me and tell me what's troubling you."

I looked over my shoulder at him, struggling with my decision. I relented, dropped my scrub brush into the soapy water and sat opposite the man of my dreams, wishing I were the woman of his.

"Carlisle, I'm fine. The damned blood stains are set in. There is nothing I can do unless I replace the floors, but I want to leave the house as much in tact as possible."

He closed his eyes in a long blink. "I know there's more to it. Something with Rosalie, perhaps?"

"Did she say something about me?" I heard how defensive my tone was and it was too late to correct.

"No, she didn't, but there is something. Isn't there?"

"It's just that..." I paused thinking of how to phrase what I wanted to say, "she hates her life. She's extremely unhappy and she makes sure everyone around her is as miserable as she is."

"I know, she's asked me a number of times how I could damn her like this." Carlisle looked troubled. I knew he felt guilty even though he thought he was doing the right thing at the time.

"What did you say?" I wondered.

"I told her the truth that it seemed like a waste to let her die and that I thought Edward could use the company."

_Edward, huh? Anyone who knows Edward knows that Rosalie is the last girl for him. I think-_

Carlisle waved his hand in front of my face. "Esme, where did you go? What are you thinking?"

"Nothing. It's just that since you've gone back to work it is Edward and me that have to deal with the brooding all day long. " I was getting angrier, but it felt so good to let out some of my pent up frustration.

"Esme-" there was warning in his tone.

"Car-lisle," I mocked back, "I know I shouldn't complain, but seriously the _poor me pity party_ time frame has lapsed. She needs to get over it, accept that she's a vampire, embrace the thirst for blood. It must be absolutely horrible to be perfectly young and beautiful until the end of time. Men will lust over her and women will envy her, but she just won't stop complaining!"

"Well, excuse me for being forced into your family," Rosalie's voice was stronger than mine had been as she entered the room. I had been so self absorbed (just what I had been accusing her of) that I hadn't heard her.

"Rose-" I started to stand, but quickly sat back down.

"Please don't," she was short and firm in her response, "I know you all hate me and wish I'd leave so you can go back to your happy little family bubble. So that's what I'll do."

I was horrified by my own behavior and how I'd hurt her. "Rosalie, no, I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated and on edge. It's my own problem, not yours. We don't hate you, Sweetheart. We just want you to find some peace and happiness. Eternity is a long time to be miserable." I was backtracking and doing a terrible job.

"You're right, of course, Esme. I'm going to go on a little voyage-"

"Rosalie, you can't go off on your own. You told me before that you didn't want to be alone. We love you. You are one of us. Let us help you work this out." I could hear the desperation in Carlisle's voice. He was desperate to keep her here, of course.

"Thank you for saying that Carlisle, but I think I need some time alone to reflect and maybe then, I can find happiness. On my own. And then maybe you all can be happy too, without me."

"Rosalie, please-" he pleaded.

"No, Carlisle. My mind is made up. I'm leaving tonight." She held her head high and proud.

Carlisle shriveled. "As you wish. You know we would never force you to stay here." My husband was upset and it was my fault. I had hurt him.

I looked away from them and fixed my eyes on the blood stain. Some things can't be cleaned. Some things run too deep.

"Thank you for understanding. I'll be in touch." She twirled on her toes, flicked her hair over her shoulder and left us. Carlisle stared after her until the front door clicked shut leaving us in a deafening silence.

Neither of us said anything for several long torturous minutes.

Carlisle slowly walked out without another word, and I heard him escape to the back porch.

I miss tears. I needed a good cry, but I sat there motionless and tearless for a while before escaping to my room. I wiped down all the furniture in there trying to comfort myself. The truth is, I didn't want to be comforted. I deserved this misery that I had brought upon myself.

I grabbed the vinegar from the closet and set about cleaning the windows. I was on the last pane, when my husband joined me.

Carlisle walked up behind me and wrapped his strong hands around my waist. He kissed my neck softly.

"I'm sorry," he said in a whisper.

I swallowed hard. "Why are you sorry, I'm the one-"

"I'm sorry I left without saying good-bye earlier. You deserve better than that."

"No, actually, I don't." He spun me around so I was facing him. He pressed his lips to mine and tangled his fingers in my hair. His lips moved against mine. I tried to float away on the fluttering within me.

He felt so good, but I felt so bad. I couldn't take it. I pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, leaving him standing alone at the window.

"Esme, don't pull away. I'm afraid of losing you-"

"Like you lost Rosalie," I snapped in a quiet, defeated tone. He narrowed his eyes at me before he came and crouched down in front of me.

"What are trying to say, Esme?"

"I'm trying to say that I'm sorry for driving Rosalie away. I'm sorry I ruined the family you've been building. I'm sorry I'm still here and she's gone. You never should have changed me. You could have had her for yourself." I covered my face with my hands and dropped back onto the bed.

I felt the bed dip as Carlisle forced his body next to mine. He grabbed my wrists, but stopped trying to pull them apart when I resisted. "Esme," he pleaded, "What has happened to you? What are you even saying? You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was trying to build a family for us-both of us-to share."

"I know…" I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I continued, "I have everything I've ever asked for," the truth of that statement weighed on me like a ton of bricks. I revealed my face and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I felt him relax into my touch.

He kissed my cheek softly. "Then why-"

"You are too good to us. All of us-especially me. I don't deserve you and I'm keeping you from having someone…"

"Someone what, Esme?"

I inhaled and spoke softly. "Someone more appreciative, someone who has more to offer you, someone beautiful. Someone like…" I removed my arms and rolled away from him, closing my eyes and wishing I could disappear.

"Someone like what?" He closed the gap I had created and rested his hand on my hip. I tried to pull away, but he tightened his hold on me not letting me go.

"Esme?" his tone was stern and commanding and my body reacted, against my will, to his voice.

"S-Someone like R-R-Rosalie. I know you think she's perfect, and she is. I know you would rather-"

"Wha-No. I wouldn't." He pressed me back onto my back and straddled my hips to hold me flat. He grabbed the sides of my head in his hands. "Don't you know me, Esme?" I instinctually raised my forearms in a defensive block as he lowered himself over my torso. He placed the softest kiss on my quivering lips. I didn't deserve his kisses.

He pulled back only enough so he could speak. "You are perfect for me." I shook my head silently.

Carlisle drew tender circles on my temples with his thumbs and nodded. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met." I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip. He leaned forward again and traced my lips with his tongue. It was sweet and sensual. I wanted to believe his words, but my inner voice reminded me that I'm no Rosalie.

"Carlisle, please," I begged. I wanted him to release me. I wanted to run away and hide.

"Please, what?" he sounded a little mischievous and a lot determined.

"Please, let me go." I looked up into his black, hungry eyes as he shook his head back and forth.

"I'm sorry. I can't do that. I have obviously not made it clear how much I love you, and I _will_ make you understand." My eyes burned with shame, but no tears came.

He grasped my wrists and pulled them away from my chest. Then he kissed me longingly behind the ear, raising goose bumps on my arms.

"You smell divine, Esme, like freshly roasted coffee beans and brown sugar." He trailed kisses down to my collarbone and then he looked me in the eye. "You smell like home." My stomach fluttered and he lifted himself off of me so I could see him.

I felt him fumble with the top button of my dress. When he pushed it through he said, "It's your full lips I want to kiss." Then he leaned forward and kissed me more firmly than before. A dull ache began deep in my belly. My body was at war with my mind as it frantically conjured up pictures of Rosalie in all her beautiful glory to retaliate against Carlisle's tenderness.

He lifted himself again and moved to the second button. "It is your eyes I can see the world most clearly through." I could see the smoldering in his eyes as he stared into mine, causing my mind to silence.

The third button. "It is your chestnut hair I want splayed against my chest after I make love." My still heart fluttered in my chest and the pictures in my head began to fade as the vision of my husband above me commanded attention.

Last button. "It is your arms I want around me." He lifted me up and pulled the top of my dress down over my shoulders until my arms were free. I was bare before him. I had never felt more vulnerable.

"You are so beautiful to me," he murmured as he leaned forward kissing the tops of my breasts. Simultaneously, he unclasped my brassiere behind me. He pulled the garment away and my nipples responded positively to the open air.

Carlisle laid me back down and ran his cold hands across my body as if he worshipped it. "These are the breasts I lust over and want to caress." My jealous mind was losing power with every one of his gentle strokes. I felt myself slipping into the glorious feeling of being wanted.

I reached up and pulled his shirt over his head without unclasping the buttons. Two of them resisted before shooting over the edge of the bed. I ran my hands up his torso, exploring the hard lines I found. Heaven.

"Oh, Esme," he gasped in a husky voice, "Don't you know what you mean to me?"

I closed my eyes and studdered, "I-I'm just-" His lips silenced mine before I could finish. His hard chest pressed into my breasts and the skin to skin friction was delicious. He kissed me persuasively, and I wanted to believe him. A glimmer of doubt still hung in the back of my mind.

"You are perfect," he said, tugging my dress along with my panties down past my hips and off my legs. "It's your body I long for, not anyone else's." To emphasize his point, he ran the tip of his nose slowly along my inner thigh from my knee to the top of my thigh.

"It's your body I want to taste." I shivered with desire. "Please, Esme, will you share yourself with me?" He looked up at me questioningly.

I nodded my response, but he knew I was still holding back. "Tell me, Esme. Tell me you want me. Tell me you believe me. I want to hear you." He encouraged me with tiny nips on my thighs.

My nagging inner voice tried to summon an insecure thought, but failed. My husband wanted me. In this moment, I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that he wanted me.

"Yes, I want you and I believe you want me."

He smiled and then I felt his soft lips come in contact with my wet ones. "Oh, God, I love you so much… Only you." His tongue was very convincing. He lapped and worshipped me at a leisurely pace.

I lost myself in his loving kisses and his sensual caresses. He lifted my pleasure higher and higher with every touch until my body could handle no more. I arched my back and trembled into oblivion. He stayed with me extending my pleasure by massaging me deeply and pressing expertly with his tongue until I slumped into satiated bliss.

I breathed heavily waiting for reality to return. Slowly, I was aware of his tender kisses on my hipbone and cool breath against my pelvis.

"I love you, Esme. I need you to know that. I would be nothing without you."

"And I without you." I smiled down at him, enjoying the bond that had ben reconnected between us. "Thank you for loving me." He pulled himself up next to me and I rested my head on his bare chest.

Slowly, I reached for his zipper. Now I needed him to know that I loved him too.

Suddenly, we heard frantic yelling from the back lawn. It was Rosalie, my only daughter.

"Help! Carlisle, please help me."

Carlisle glanced out the window before flying out the door and down the stairs. I tiptoed to the window and suspiciously looked down.

Rosalie was huddled over an unconscious man. He was bleeding excessively in several places. What had she done?

"What happened?" I heard Carlisle ask, glancing up at the window for my support.

"It was a bear. It just attacked him near Gatlinburg. He's going to die, Carlisle. Please save him. I want him, please you've got to save him for me!"

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*** Thank you for reading. All comments are welcomed and will be taken to heart. **


	4. Chapter 4

*** Unbeta'd-all mistakes belong to me. I only reread it once and wrote it while on vacation. Please be kind.**

*** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. I just really love them. No copyright infringement intended.**

*** I didn't have my copy of Breaking Dawn with me when I wrote this, so it's not as accurate to the original story as I'd like. I plan to go back and fix it, just not sure when that's going to happen.**

* * *

PTB S-University Summer 2012

Assignment 3: All Virgins All the Time

APOV

Fortune-tellers typically sit in dark booths at carnivals with their cards and crystal balls charging people outlandish prices for generic women's magazine type horoscopes. Everyone has a good time, nobody gets hurt and there are no consequences- for anybody.

I wish I had a little booth made from dark blue fabric with moons on it and a crystal ball, but not the gypsy costume-gross. I don't want to charge my family money, and I don't need a crystal ball to see anything, but I don't want to hash out the details of Edward's honeymoon with him any more. It's just weird.

I don't have a choice though because there are some very real consequences that we'll all have to deal with if Edward doesn't plan for every possibility. Life and death and_ change_ consequences.

I know why he's asking me. I get it. The whole thing is dangerous and beautiful and mind-blowingly uncertain. Edward is not sure what he's going to do. He's getting advice from Carlisle and my brothers and a very short-lived stint on pornhub-which he was so pissed off at me for suggesting that he didn't speak to me for two days.

He's got more ideas and advice than he can handle and he's not sure what he's going to do. Instead, he processes every piece of advice, develops a plan and then runs it through me to see what might happen.

He's got so many plans developing and altering that I'm dizzy from the uncertainty. I've had to go lie down more times in the last week than I have for decades, and I don't have time to lie down. I have a wedding to pull together. A wedding that is scheduled for 28 hours from now.

At least Edward's gone for a little bit. First to visit Bella one last time in her old room and then he's off to his bachelor party. I have a few hours to focus on these seating arrangements in peace.

Or… not.

I hear his running stride before I hear his voice.

"A-Alice…the hymen…," He gasps in horror.

"Edward," I say calmly, placing cards above their respective place settings, "We've talked about the hymen before. It's going to be fine. Remember what I said, foreplay and control and gentleness. She'll be fine, human girls handle it every day."

Edward had nearly called the wedding off a week ago because someone mentioned to him that some women experience pain during their first experience. He had a conniption at the very idea that it was possible he'd hurt her even for a moment. It took the whole family about 14 hours to talk him off the ledge.

Besides, thanks to a snide comment by Rosalie, Bella has been making daily efforts to stretch her hymen herself-with a hairbrush handle unfortunately-but I'm not going to tell Edward that piece of information in his current state.

Now he's pacing back and forth around the tables oblivious to his surroundings. "Alice, what everyone failed to mention-even Carlisle somehow-is that there can be blood involved. Blood! Alice! I can't agree to any scenario where I'm barely in control and Bella's fresh blood is a factor. It's. Too. Dangerous."

"Edward," I start, using the most patient tone I can muster.

"Alice, just imagine." Just then I start to see the plan his subconscious is forming…

_Edward and Bella in the gauzy white room on Isle Esme_. _They are unclothed and petting each other softly between deep kisses. Edward lifts up on his arms and settles his body over hers. Bella looks so excited about getting what she wants. Edward leans in and kisses her once more._

_He enters her, as controlled as only Edward could be. He glides into her until her nervous lip biting turns to an uncomfortable grimace. He stops, but she moves her hands to his hips and tugs him in the rest of the way. She exhales and blinks back the tears in her eyes before nodding to him to keep going._

_Always the gentlemen, Edward presses another sweet kiss to her lips. Then, just as he withdraws the scent of Bella's fresh blood-no more than a few drops-overtakes him. Quick as a flash, he's kneeling between her legs lapping up the tiny trickle. Bella is bewildered but lost in the sensation of his tongue on her. She doesn't really what's actually happening._

_When the blood is gone, Edward slides over to her femoral artery and bites-_

"Stop! Alice, stop! This is not happening. I'm going to tell her the deal's off!" He screams, frantically running his hands through his hair. Then the vision disappears completely.

"Just calm down for a second, will you? Let's take it one step at a time. You were doing fine that time until… the blood." His shoulders slump in defeat.

He opens his eyes as wide as they'll go. "So what's the solution, Alice? Tell Bella to make sure she doesn't bleed? No, no, no. I can't risk it. No sex."

My mind is sorting through possible solutions. "Edward, there is no need to throw the baby out with the bath water," I state in a voice that's calmer than how I feel.

His brow furrows. "What did you say?"

"I said 'don't throw the baby out with'-"

"Water!" We exclaim simultaneously, just then Edward adjusts the location of the previous vision and he's off with another plan.

_Bella joins Edward at the beach. They walk into the water side by side, and turn to face each other. He makes her promise to tell him if she feels any pain and she agrees. They explore each other's bodies in the warm ocean water. _

_This time, Edward tries his fingers first. Unfortunately, for Bella, he's very clinical in his technique. Bella holds onto his shoulders patiently while he moves around pressing carefully at her internal walls. I start to wonder if he's going to check on the health of her ovaries next. He doesn't, thankfully._

_He lifts Bella and slides her onto him. The waves massage their bodies as they move and carry any traces of blood out to sea. The only sounds are the wind rustling the palm fronds, the waves crashing against the sand and Bella's excited, rhythmic heartbeat._

"Okay?" I ask my brother.

"Okay," he whispers.

"Now get going before you miss your whole bachelor party. I don't know how you snuck away in the first place."

"Hide and seek," he answers smugly, with his crooked smile, and takes off into the forest at full speed.

I continue to work on the place settings being satisfactorily productive, but every few minutes I get a glimmer of Bella with pure ivory white skin. Her lips are a deep crimson and her eyes are blood red.

I have to keep that from Edward. We all know it's the path Bella's on, but he wants complete control of it. Somehow these visions feel unexpected and uncontrolled, but the course they currently are leads to it.

I'm pretty sure the smidgens I'm getting are because Edward is planning (aka fantasizing) about his honeymoon as he hunts with Jasper and Emmett.

He tries to act like he doesn't care about the sex, and the only reason he's so focused on it is because he wants to make sure Bella is safe. That's what he says, but I know better. My virgin brother is dying to finally get laid.

Just as I place the last card in its appropriate place I get hit with the most solid vision I've received about Isle Esme. I sit in Jessica Stanley's chair and watch what unfolds.

_Edward carries, a towel-wrapped, Bella in from the beach and stands her beside the bed. Slowly he releases the towel, but lifts it to her shoulders. She bites her bottom lip nervously trying to process what her husband is doing. _

_He gently wipes drops of water from her shoulders. He kisses each one leisurely and looks into her eyes. They are heavy, like her breathing. She lifts each arm for him as he slides the towel across her skin removing the salt water as he goes and worshipping her arms with kisses._

_Edward sits on the bed and Bella moves to stand between his open legs. She smiles down at him. "I'm still wet here," she teases, hesitantly pointing to her bare chest. _

_He smirks, leans in and licks up the few trickles of water he finds running down between her breasts. She turns slightly to the left presenting her nipple for his attention. _

_Bella moans and drops her head back as he circles each peak before sucking it gently into his hungry mouth. He's a little immature in his technique but Bella is obviously oblivious._

_She digs her fingers into his hair and wobbles for a moment like she's light-headed. Edward swoops her up and settles her beneath him on the bed. _

"_Are you okay, Mrs. Cullen?" he checks._

"_I'm very okay, Mr. Cullen. Just a little wet," she smiles mischievously._

_He starts to get back up for the towel. "Sorry, let me-"_

"_Edward," she blushes magnificently. "I don't want to be dried. I want you…" she's too embarrassed to finish her statement._

_He settles back in position. "You'll tell me if I hurt you." _

_She leans up to kiss his closed lips. "You won't." He gives her a severe look. "But, yes. I'll tell you if I need to." She arches her back and captures his legs by hooking hers behind his knees. _

"_Edward, please-" he silences her with commanding kisses and she starts writhing with anticipation under him. How long will he resist?_

"_Please," she begs again._

_He squints his eyes tighter and presses forward, but she's so slick that he slides easily along the curve of her body up toward her navel. He pulls back and tries again. He gets the same result except this time he manages to press her clit briefly. Bella gasps and Edward panics, pulling himself up until he's kneeling in front of her._

"_Bella, what happened? Did I hurt you?"_

_She giggles, and waves him back into position. "No, you just felt really good against me at the end there."_

_That calms him a little, but he's not sure how to get where they both want to be. "Bella, I don't…do you think we…fit? I mean, you know. Do you think I'm too-"_

"_Oh, you're pretty big, but I think it will be okay. Do you want me to h-help you?"_

_He smiles and bends forward to kiss her. Edward gets so lost in the kiss that he's startled when he feels her tiny hand around him. It feels so good and he's struggling to maintain control. _

_He nearly loses it completely when she guides him to the warm, wet place she's been saving for him. Her hand moves him in small circles spreading the wet warmth around. _

"_Here," she whispers. He stares into her eyes as he enters her. Both of their faces light up with pleasure as they become one being. It is a beautiful moment between them. _

"_I love you," he barely manages to say._

"_I love you, too." She pulls down into another deep kiss. It's a needy rough kiss._

_When Edward's waited as long as he can handle, he begins to move. It's slow and controlled for a few strokes, but then it becomes impulsive and erratic. His hands are searching for a place to be. He moves from her shoulders, to her ribs to her hips, but they all feel to fragile to him. Finally, he chooses the pillow nearest the corner of the bed and her hair, which will not bruise from his grasp. _

_His mouth is filling slowly with venom and his mouth is seeking fulfillment, but he doesn't trust himself to kiss her. Anywhere._

_Her eyes are fluttering, but not as fast her heart or her breathing. She's nearly reached euphoria when Edward pushes in deeply and stalls. _

_I'm startled when he bends toward the bed, but still doesn't kiss Bella. Instead his lips find the pillow and his teeth sink in shredding Esme's high thread count. The Egyptian cotton linens soak up the venom. Everything goes black. I see stars and fireworks and bruises and tears and random short brown ringlets and eventually-Bella's red eyes._

There's not much I can do about her eyes, but I am very grateful for the Agent Provocateur I snuck into her luggage. I have a strong feeling she's going to need it.

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*** Thank you for reading! All reviews and suggestions are taken to heart. **


	5. Chapter 5

* Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. I just really love them No copyright infringement intended. All the bolded text in this story are direct quotes from Breaking Dawn. Credit for their greatness goes to Stephenie Meyer.

~This one shot is Edward's POV on Isle Esme. Bella's POV is in "Chapter 6-Distractions "of Breaking Dawn. Edward is keeping Bella busy all day with physical activities but still refusing to have sex with her. This is the night she wore the black lingerie to bed, but before she wakes up from her "good dream" that she wishes was real. (page 105 in my book) Bolded text is directly quoted from Breaking Dawn.

* * *

Corn Flakes

EPOV

I hummed Bella's lullaby until I was sure she was asleep. Then I lay holding her close to my body, listening to her rhythmic heartbeat. I watched the curve of her breast as it moved with her every breath. It was heaven. It was hell.

We were there together as a married couple. I got to spend the night holding her without worrying about her father discovering us. She was mine and the whole world knew.

I wished it were enough. It wasn't. Our first night on Isle Esme was truly the best night of my existence. Now that I knew there was great pleasure to be had, I hungered for it more than blood. It was absolute hell to deny Bella what we both needed, but I couldn't risk her safety again.

So, I lay there with her in nestled in my arms. Absentmindedly, I rubbed my hand over the lacey bodice of the nightie. I didn't like the rough texture of the fabric, so I moved my hand lower seeking her warm flesh.

To my delight, I found her silky smooth hip and caressed it slowly, memorizing the curve. She stirred momentarily pressing her round bottom back into me. My body reacted immediately and I hissed under my breath. I wanted to push against her softness and bring our bodies pleasure. I wanted…I wanted what I could not have.

Frustrated I pulled back the sheet and eased my body out of bed. I needed a distraction. Snorkeling and hiking weren't options while Bella lay asleep. I needed to stay with her, but not _be _with her. It was maddening.

I walked out to the great room and turned on the TV. The Food Network came to life. An overzealous chef was demonstrating how to make a breakfast casserole with hash browns and cheese. I thought I might try to make it for Bella's breakfast in the morning, I'd just need to check and see if we had the corn flakes required for the crusty topping.

I flipped through all 900 channels, realizing that nothing was going to be as interesting as watching Bella sleep, so I returned to the bedroom.

I settled into the mahogany chair in the corner and stared at my wife through the darkness. She was spread out erotically on top of the sheet. Her hair fanned out over the pillow with her arm folded over her forehead. My eyes trailed from her elbow down past her full lips to where her perfect breasts peeked out of the black lace.

I wanted to run my hands softly over them and watch her nipples pucker with desire. Instead, I slid my hand under the waistband of my sleep pants. I ran my thumb over the engorged head and circled it with slow strokes. What was a doing? I was a man on my honeymoon, not a horny teenager looking at tattered magazine from under his mattress. I was pathetic.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked back at the angel in my bed. She wanted me like I wanted her. My stomach fluttered at that thought. She wanted me desperately. I slid my hand slowly down to the base reminding me of being completely surrounded by Bella's tight, wet body. The way she had arched into me, meeting me with every thrust. Glorious.

I curled my fingers lower around the soft delicate skin and bit my lip to silence a moan. She had been intrigued by this particular part of me. I gently cupped and scraped the wrinkles trying in vain to replicate her tentative explorations a few days ago. It wasn't the same as her warm, tiny fingers, but my body tingled in response to the memory.

What would she think if she caught me like this? I nervously turned my attention back to my sleeping beauty. She was twisted at the waist with a line of black lace ruffling around her sexy little hip before it circled across her perfect backside. I remembered the softness when she rubbed against my hardness.

I drew my hand upward pulling my lust for Bella to the surface. Then I pushed back down tightening my twisting grip as I went. I imagined that Bella was squeezing and massaging me with her body, that her arms were wrapped around my shoulders and her knees around my hips. I would squeeze her robust butt as I pounded into her with as much force as I dared. So good.

I continued to stroke myself up and down circling the tip when I reached it and churning my length on the way down. I felt a tightening in my stomach, an anxious flutter and then-

The sheet rustled slightly and her heartbeat sped up in response to something. I jumped up quickly and joined her in the bed. I panted in spite myself wondering if I'd woken her with my activities.

"**Bella**," I whispered, shaking her gently, "**Are you alright sweetheart?"**

"**Oh**," she gasped with a painful tone.

"**Bella!"** I questioned sounding alarmed. What had she seen? What was she thinking of me? "**What's wrong?"** I wiped the hot tears from her cheeks frantically. I had hurt her by seeking the orgasm for myself that I'd been denying her.

"**It was only a dream,"** she sobbed, more tears spilling down her cheeks. Did she have a nightmare or did she see something she thought was a dream?

I was desperate. **"It's okay, love, you're fine. I'm here,"** I rocked her back and forth nervously trying to hide the excitement in my sleep pants. **"Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real. It wasn't real."**

"**Not a nightmare,"** she gasped shaking her head and rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. **"It was a good dream."** Her voice cracked on the word _good_.

"**Then why are you crying?"** I asked bewildered and stopped rocking.

"**Because I woke up,"** she wailed as she wrapped her arms me, and cried into my neck.

I chuckled trying to lighten the mood. I was beginning to believe that she did not know about my secret, but she was clearly upset.

"**Everything's all right, Bella. Take deep breaths."**I forced some air into my lungs calming myself down as well.

"**It was so real,"** she cried, **"I wanted it to be real."**

"**Tell me about it,"** I suggested. **"Maybe that will help." **I rubbed her back with tiny circles.

Bella sniffled. **"We were on the beach…"** She looked into my eyes, showing me the pain in hers.

"**And?"** I encouraged.

"**Oh, Edward…"** she started crying again.

I was really starting to worry about her well-being, and I wanted to do anything to help; anything at all to soothe her.

Unexpectedly, she crushed her lips to mine with a frantic need. I was still hard and begging for her below the waist. My greedy body succumbed to her lips until realization hit. She wanted me like I needed her. My heart sunk. I gently encircled her shoulders with my hands and pushed her slowly away. It killed me.

"**No, Bella,"** I whispered full of despair.

Rejected, she slumped away from me and took my heart with her.

"**I'm s-s-s-orry,"** she cried. How could I do that to her? How could I let her feel like I didn't want her when there was nothing I wanted more?

I pulled to my chest and a war broke out inside me. Why couldn't I be stronger for her? But I already knew my reason. I had to keep her safe at all costs, even if I had to deny my own desires, even if I had to deny her of hers. What kind of husband was I?

"**I can't, Bella, I can't!"** I could hear the pain in my own voice, and I just hoped she knew I didn't have a choice. I couldn't let myself bruise her again.

I tried to ignore my erection that was pinned between us. She rubbed against me with every studdered breath, and it occurred to me that I was causing her physical pain either way.

"**Please,"** she begged against my chest, **"Please, Edward?"**

That did it. My unbearable need overpowered my logical arguments. I pulled her lips back to mine and surrendered.

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* Thank you for reading. All critiques and suggestions will be taken to heart.


	6. Chapter 6

*** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. I just really love them. No copyright infringement intended.**

*** Unbeta'd. Mistakes belong solely to me and I had a really hard time keeping the tense straight. Be gentle.**

*** This is my first AH story for S-University. The assignment was on realism and I just couldn't work out an AU idea that I liked. So a dose of suburban reality inspired by (a few) details from my own life, but I'm not telling which ones. Shhhh...**

* * *

The Real World

Esme POV

I live the American Dream. You know the one: house in the suburbs, 2.5 kids, mini-van and the white picket fence. We even have the dog-a mutt we rescued from the shelter named Jake.

While Carlisle works hard at the office, I have been lucky enough to stay home and raise our two boys, Edward and Emmett, which I've never regretted. Just when Emmett started middle school, we decided that I should think about going back to work. But we got a surprise that year- our little point five, Alice.

I've been PTA mom, Cub Scout mom, carpool mom, room mom, soccer team mom and everything but a _stay at home mom_. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't hear the infamous words, "I'm going to tell mom," and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Which is exactly what I'm always trying to convince Rosalie of. Rosalie is the MILF next door who drives a red BMW convertible to the salon she owns every day. She makes no apologies for not volunteering for a single activity her step-kids are involved in. She doesn't bake for bake sales or do fund raisers or donate her time. She can't fit any extra people in her car so she never has to run carpool.

I should be irritated with someone like Rosalie for leaving the rest of us to pick up her slack, but I'm not. Our friendship is the only one I have that's not based on children and their activities. I value her fresh perspective.

Rosalie introduced me to all my secret luxuries like mimosas on Sundays (it just looks like sparkling cranberry juice), chocolate covered coffee beans (the only candy that's just for me because my kids won't touch it) and vibrators (Carlisle won't even open the cabinet where the feminine products/secret adult toys are kept).

But my favorite little escape I learned from Rosalie is erotic literature. You know the novels I'm talking about. The ones you have to fold back the covers when you're waiting for kids at ballet so nobody sees the shirtless beef hunk on the front. The ones you bury on your kindle under more respectable titles like How to Raise a Harvard Scholar.

I know it's not realistic to have sex god millionaire hero who was just waiting for the size 12, inexperienced English teacher to come into his life so he could carry her off into the sunset for twelve hour sex marathons where everyone comes-repeatedly. It's a fantasy and that's the whole point-harmless, innocent fantasies.

At least, that's how Rosalie sold me in the beginning. "It's not like you're having an affair, Esme. You're just reading a fantasy story. You know I heard on CNN that _kids whose parents are readers become readers themselves_. You want your kids to read don't you, so they can go to college, right?"

She shoved a solid red paperback that had a picture of just a muscular male torso on the cover. I took it and read it secretly while the kids were at school and after Carlisle fell asleep at night. I was hooked and I've been reading nothing but smut ever since.

I went through a six-month period where I drank a pot and a half of coffee everyday because I was up until 3am with hunky vampires who romanced their completely average women thoroughly. I found myself wishing vampires were real and paying attention to which guys in the neighborhood worked the night shift.

Carlisle, of course, worked day shift. He is a good provider, amazing father and a very appreciative husband. Our sex life has always been good. But if reading erotica taught me nothing else, it was that our four nights a week, behind a locked door with just the closet light on, had lost a little of its appeal.

The fantasies I was able to create in my head after reading trashy novel after trashy novel made my afternoon private time with Mr. Rabbit much more enjoyable.

_A huge headless, hairless body builder strides over the bed with just his leather pants on. He unzips them revealing a monstrous cock. He grabs me by the back of the neck saying, "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. You were totally worth the wait." _

_He kisses me deeply with his spearmint breath as he moves his hard body over mine. Mr. Perfect takes his time with foreplay kissing me everywhere, worshipping my entire body but paying particular attention to my nipples. Then he moves between my legs kissing and licking. Just when my pussy can't stand the vacancy any longer, he fills me with a huge finger, of course, telling me how wonderful I taste._

_He moves his fingers in perfect rhythm with his tongue until I come. Then he kisses his way back to my lips and enters me with a strong thrust whispering how beautiful I am. I slide my hands down his sculpted, bronze body as he fucks me with strong confident strokes. He tells me how tight I am. That statement pushes us both over the edge. We cling to each other, panting and kissing._

It's a beautiful little fantasy and just like the books, I get to come every time. I tried to apply the same fantasy to my marriage bed, but it wasn't the same because my husband of almost 18 years was-well, he was real.

He was really tired, really predictable and really efficient. So efficient I knew when to flip over and when to arch my back. So efficient I came most of the time just before he did. So efficient I was reading my novels again by Jimmy Fallon.

The day before my anniversary, I decided to fess up about my dissatisfaction. I spent the entire day trying to think of how to say what I wanted to say. Trying to figure out specifically _what_ I was trying to say. Things weren't exactly unacceptable. We weren't talking about soccer and the electric bill during sex. It just wasn't new and exciting like my books. Was I really unfulfilled because our relationship was too _real_? I decided to keep my mouth shut until I could figure it out.

In the morning, I woke up to fresh spearminty kisses. Carlisle started on my cheek and worked his way down my neck. That was unexpected. I shivered and goose bumps appeared on my arms.

"Carlisle, what are you doing? What time is it? You have to get to work." I mumbled half asleep.

He kissed me again in the hollow of my throat and lifted my tank top to reveal my breasts.

"It's 6:00am, but I'm not going to work today. I wanted to spend the day with you to celebrate our anniversary." My groggy mind woke up a little more and my heart fluttered. Spend the day together? Starting with morning sex? We hadn't done that since-I don't know when.

"Wh-what are we going to do?" I questioned, intrigued by the possibilities, but distracted by his hands moving across my budding nipples.

"Sh-sh, we'll figure it out after I take the kids to school, but first…" he nipped down my sternum and sucked my left nipple between his lips. He pressed his lips together pinching slightly harder than usual and then nibbled me with his teeth. I gasped at the unfamiliar sensation and he chuckled.

"You are so beautiful, Esme. I know I don't tell you that enough, but you truly have an amazing body that still turns me on." I sighed as he continued his southward decent. He tucked his fingers under the waistband of my sleep shorts and lowered them down my legs, kissing my flesh as he revealed it.

I felt his body settle between my legs and his hands ran up the inside of my legs. Then he kneaded my thighs and urged me to open wider. When I did, he lowered his head kissing and licking my aching flesh. My back arched all on its own. He moaned with satisfaction and my stomach flip flopped at the idea that I was desired.

His strong tongue slid up one side of my clit and down around the other. Then he ghosted over the top causing me to buck against him. He took that as a cue that I needed more. I felt his finger linger in my wet entrance teasing me as he continued to tongue my clit edging my pleasure higher with every pass.

Carlisle pushed his finger in and rubbed against the spot he knew so well deep within me. My body tightened around his finger, but he withdrew and returned with the second. Without thinking, I dropped my hands to his head and grabbed his hair. My hips lifted in an attempt for more friction. I was almost there.

He twisted his fingers inside me creating a whole new sensation. He flattened his tongue and I exploded in a powerful orgasm. Everything around me faded away except for shooting stars, powerful waves of euphoria and my husband's efficient skills drawing out the last few waves from my body.

I slumped against my pillow with my eyes closed enjoying the easy blissful state. I felt light as a feather and simply happy. He covered my body with his like a warm blanket.

"Happy Anniversary, Babe," he whispered, kissing my neck, giving me chills.

"Hmmm…" I answered without opening my eyes.

He giggled, but stayed still over me. I could feel his erection pressing into my thighs, but he just lay there kissing me softly.

It occurred to me how selfish it was to just lie there in post coital bliss while he still had a hard on. I forced my eyes open and looked directly into his, full of wonder and love.

He was smiling at me like the Cheshire Cat. " You're so beautiful when you come."

I blushed, shook my head and tried to cover my face in embarrassment. He pried my hands off and looked serious.

"Esme, I am so glad I have gotten to love you all these years."

I opened my mouth to say-I don't know what-but something. He put his hand behind my neck and held me firmly in place and pressed his lips to mine before I could speak. I lost my desire to talk anyway as his passion reignited my own. I wrapped my legs around his waist and ground against him enjoying the familiar comfort of his body.

I arched my back knowing he was about to join our bodies like two pieces of a puzzle and he did. Somehow it still felt erotic and heavenly. "God, Esme, if I hadn't been present when you gave birth to our children I would never believe that this tight little body gave birth. You feel amazing." My body quivered and gripped him in response.

I smiled up at him and saw the honesty in his eyes. This man knows me. He is my husband of 18 years and he loves me. He makes love to me and there is no other man, I'd rather be with.

He started to move slowly but purposefully, angling his body perfectly to bring me the most pleasure in the least amount of time. It takes patience and time, years, to develop that kind of efficiency in a physical relationship. I definitely do not have the patience (or the time) to train someone new, not even a headless, hairless vampire in leather pants.

Carlisle's thrusts changed from controlled to frantic and I ran my hands down his familiar body, across the birthmark on his ribcage. I rolled my hips against his giving myself the last little sensation I needed. My body fell apart again and I clawed his back trying to keep him close even as my body shook against him.

"I love you," he cried. Then he stilled and moaned as he twitched inside me. I did that to him-me, an average housewife.

"I love you, too," I whispered, rubbing my hands over the scratches I etched in his back.

We lay there in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he forced himself up.

"I'm going to take the kids to school while you take a little time for yourself and think about what you want to do with the rest of the day." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at me.

"Carlisle, I don't know... I mean, what do you have in mind?" I was really at a loss, I mean I've read all those graphic books, but I couldn't think of anything.

"The question is," he said over his shoulder as he headed toward the shower, "what do you have in your dirty little mind?"

"Dirty little mind-me?" I acted shocked, partially frightened that he knows me so well.

I heard the shower turn on and fell back against the pillow. He reappeared in the doorway, "I know all about your _Mommy Porn_, Esme, and I think you should stop hiding your little fantasies and we start playing with some new ideas."

My mouth dropped open. "But, I..."

He smirked at me and left the room to take his shower. I was left sorting through all the Mommy Porn scenes I'd saved in my memory.

I had the whole day to do whatever I pleased. All I had to do was find a scene where the average little woman took complete control of the situation. Hmmm….

* * *

*** Thank you for reading. All reviews and suggestions will be taken to heart. **

*** I know mimosas are usually made with orange juice, but I prefer cranberry so that's what I wrote.**

*** The first novel Rosalie gives Esme to read is Dark Lover by JR Ward from the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. If you haven't read it, I recommend it -only if you like that sort of thing: Vampires in leather pants and SMUT. Be forewarned- I really spent about two months getting only 3-4 hours of sleep a night because I was addicted to those hot vampires in leathers. **


	7. Chapter 7

***Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

*** Special thanks to Dunna for reading through this for me! This is still basically unbeta'd, but Dunna did point out a few things. Mistakes should be blamed on me.**

*** This is my assignment for S-University. **

* * *

BPOV

The fucking key card won't open room 212 at the Marriot, my home away from home for the next twelve hours. This inconvenience isn't doing anything to help my irritation at the day. I just want to get inside, take off these fucking nylons, relax in the Jacuzzi tub and wait for Edward to call.

These business trips are really starting to take a toll on me… and my marriage. I mean, how many time zones can one person handle in a two week period before they lose their mind? It's the price I'm paying for being "the best new junior executive of 2012". Loneliness is the price Edward pays for being with me. I'm not sure why he puts up with it.

The key card finally engages and I stumble my room, dropping my purse on the stiff chair at the desk. Sometime in the last six months these white duvets and watercolor paintings have come to feel like my own. The impersonal-ness seems to fit my current state.

I stumble to the mini fridge and grab the $5 bottle of water. It's wasteful of me, but the company will pay for it and if I don't drink some water those three glasses of wine are going to hurt in the morning.

I click the cap clockwise and start guzzling, dribbling water out the side of my mouth.

My phone interrupts the silence of my room, "_Ain't no rest for the wicked, money don't grow on trees, I got bills to pay, I got-"_ Edward made that my ringtone. He thinks it's hilarious, but I've got to remember to change it when I get home.

"Hello," I answer.

"Hey, Bella. How'd it go today? Did you kill it?" I smile at the confidence he exudes about my ability, and walk into the bathroom to start the tub.

"I don't know about killing it, but I have a follow up with Aro in the morning before my flight."

"I'm sure you got 'em. Nobody can say no to you. Besides the president of the company-they wouldn't do that if they weren't serious. What's that noise?"

"Sorry, I'm running a bath." I walk back into the main room and sit on the bed, suddenly very aware that I am still wearing my godforsaken nylons.

"Should I let you go?" I can hear the slight disappointment in his voice.

"No, I knew you'd be calling, let me just get a little more comfortable. Hang on." I set the phone on the bed, quickly remove my silk blouse, unzip my skirt and yank it down simultaneously freeing my legs from their daytime prison. I don't know what fucking man thought pantyhose were a good idea when they complain about wearing a tie, but whatever. Business dress is business dress.

I grab my phone and move back toward the bathroom. "Okay. I'm back. What's happening there?" The giant tub isn't even a third of the way filled so I head back in the direction I came from.

"Oh, you know same old, same old. Jessica was late today because she had to give her cat an insulin shot. So I spent the whole day behind schedule."

I twist my hair into a tight knot and fix a clip around it. I do not want to have to blow dry it straight again with the crappy hotel dryer. "I don't know why you don't fire her. It would make your job a lot easier if you just had an assistant who was competent."

"You've said that before and I know you're right, but she makes the best fucking coffee I've ever had. Starbucks has nothing on her." I chuckle because Jessica does actually make really good coffee. But I would have fired her ass a long time ago and helped her get a job as a barista somewhere.

I walk back into the bathroom and the sight of the steam rising from the water makes me relax a little.

"Hang on for a second, I'm going to put you on speaker." I fumble with the phone and set it on the hand towel on the corner ledge, release the clasp on my bra and drop the lacy black garment to the floor. My matching panties follow.

"Bella?" He sounds like that "can you hear me now?" commercial.

"Yeah, I'm here." I test the water with my big toe.

"What are you doing? Why am I on speaker?"

"Don't worry. I'm just getting in the tub and I don't want to drop it in the water." I slip down into the tingling hot water, savoring the enveloping feeling.

"You're naked while you're talking to me?" Oops.

"Um, yeah. Sorry." I sit up slightly, a little embarrassed, but quickly change the subject. "What's going on the rest of the week? Anything I need to know about?"

"I'm playing golf with Mike Newton on Thursday to hopefully seal the deal with Newton's Sporting Goods. His wife is coming too. You know, to keep things social."

"Ugh, do I have to go too? You know how i feel about that wine and dine shit." I feel the tension ease back into my shoulders.

"Now, Bella, you know I need you for this. You'll be great. Don't stress yourself out."

"But-"

"But nothing. Now listen to me. Take three deep breaths." I follow his commands, as always, closing my eyes to aide my relaxation efforts. "Better?" he asks.

"A little. But I don't see why I have to go golfing. You're going owe me for this one-big time." I wish I had another glass of wine instead of this overpriced bottled water.

"I owe you for everything. Here, let me make it up to you with a massage."

"A massage? I already have one scheduled for Thursday afternoon. What time was golf again?"

"Ha-ha, Bella. You're not getting out of golf. It's recreational. It'll be fun."

"hmm…" I grunt.

"Alright, deep breath in." I inhale again trying to process what the hell kind of scent hotels all seem to have. It's clean-ish, but not really homey. I wish I were home with Edward instead of here on the phone. Then I exhale audibly.

"Good. Let it all go, the board room, the meeting tomorrow, the golfing…"

"Why can't you just take Jessica? She-"

"Bella, we're not talking about it anymore. No more business talk. This is about you relaxing. Close your eyes."

"They _are_ closed. This is not going to work."

"Yes, it is. Shh…no more talking from you." Hmpft. I don't know why I listen to him, but he actually does have a nice soothing voice on the phone.

"My hands are on your neck. My thumbs…"

"Really? This is so stupid. I'm going to go-"

"No, wait. Just use your hands to do what I say, okay. It will work. You'll be relaxed in no time." He's giggling a little.

"Whatever, it's not going to work." I can't believe I'm going along with this.

"My thumbs are making slow circles on your shoulder muscles…" I lift my hands and half-heartedly press tiny circles into the tight muscles.

"Take a deep breath and I'll press a little harder when you let the air out." I just roll my eyes, but continue.

"Bella, I want to hear your exhale."

I bite my lip instead of answering. There's really no reason to be mean. He's just trying to make me feel better while I'm away.

"Fine." I let out a loud, exaggerated exhale and, against my wishes, my muscles loosen a little. My thumbs dig a little deeper and tiny shots of comfort spread down my back.

"My fingers edge across your shoulder, like a piano player, pressing out any knots. Breathe."

I inhale and exhale enjoying the tiny easement as I do. I run my right hand up my neck and press into my temple. It feels so good to only focus on breathing. I lay there wrapped in warmth for what feels like minutes. I have no idea how long the phone is silent but I enjoy the feel of hands on my skin, even if they are my own.

"All right Bella, now down your arms." I cross my arms over each other and massage them slowly down to my elbows where the water sloshes over my kneading fingers. My thumb inadvertently brushes my left nipple, which puckers above the water line into the cool air.

I enjoy the little zing that results, so I quietly begin circling both nipples. Before long, tiny circles really aren't enough so I graze across the tops causing miniscule ripples in the water.

"Bella-" I pause and open my eyes.

"Yeah?" my voice sounds…different. I clear my throat.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I can hear a tiny bit of amusement in his question, and I can just imagine the matching cocky smile.

"Nothing. Just getting a massage like you said. Tell me what you're going to do next." I close my eyes again and move my hands as slowly as I can across my chest until my nipples return to their previous state.

"Where are your hands now?" he asks. Damn him.

"Um, they're right around my elbows." That's the truth, no reason to lie.

He pauses before speaking. "Are you pinching and kneading?"

"No. Just gentle rubbing." There's a little tremble in my voice. Why does it feel a little exciting and a little wrong? Just a phone call-right?

"Okay, well I'm moving to tiny pinches now. Roll your fingers around."

I don't need to be told twice. My fingers get back in position and follow instructions. My stomach flutters. Without realizing what's happening, my legs spread apart further until my knees bump the porcelain sides causing waves to splash against the end before they lap between my open legs. A tiny shudder moves through me.

"Bella, feel my hands on your sexy little thigh, pressing and enjoying…"

I am breathing through my mouth and it's making noise that I hope only I can hear. Through the phone I hear a dull rhythmic beat, a distinct slippery glide that heats my body more than the water.

I drop my right hand below my landing strip. Then move the thumb that's still locked on my right nipple simultaneously. My ears are straining to hear the rhythm I desperately want to match. My body is slowly getting more rigid everywhere as my release approaches. I can only hear my lover and feel my forbidden pleasure bubbling just under the surface.

"I'm close, Bella and I want to hear you. Same my name when you come."

My eyes clench shut and my back arches into my touches. My toes curl. I hear frantic grunts echo out of the phone and fill the tiny room. My fingers are shaking and pinching as water sloshes onto the tile floor. My pussy is clenching until I gasp out my lover's name.

"C-Caaaar-liiilse," I moan letting the release roll out of me before the realization of what just happened sinks in.

I gasp trying to catch my breath. I shake my head trying to make the memory untrue. My lip begins to tremble and my eyes blink away the inevitable tears.

"Bella. Are you-"

I sniff and take a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm here. Listen, um…"

"Shh-I know. Just…it's okay. Everything's okay."

"What just…?" I can't even finish my question, but who the fuck am I? How did I just let that happen? What do I do now? I sit up and bend my body in half, resting my elbows on my knees in a protective position. The problem is, I can't defend myself against myself. Can I?

"Carlisle, I'm sorry I can't talk right now."

"Okay, Bella. I understand. I'm here when you need me. But just so you know, the ball's in your court. Whatever you want. We'll talk tomorrow afternoon when you get back to the office." Click and silence.

My heart starts thumping harder. How am I going to sit in a staff meeting after my boss just heard me come? After I called his name? Fuck!

What do I tell Edward? Anything? He doesn't need to know, right? Nothing happened. It didn't mean anything. It's not like it was an affair. Was it?

Does it count if there was no actual physical contact? Does it count if it only happens once? Does it count if there's not an emotional attachment? Does it count if it was a one time momentary lapse in judgment? Does it count if I'm truly sorry and will never let it happen again?

What if I didn't mean to do it?

* * *

*** Be gentle, I needed a little writing therapy and tried to put myself in a position I hope I never find myself in. **

***I am making no claims to any real events. This is a work of fiction. Dunna said it hurt to read. Sorry about that. It hurt to write as too.**

*** Thank you for reading.**


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